God is schizophrenic.

I can hear what you're thinking... It's either "BLASPHEMERS!" or something about "cheese doodles... goat..."

Anyway. We'll assume it's the former, for practical reasons.

Just hear us out on this. Myself and Queen Moonshine have discussed this at length, and any way we went, we came to the conclusion that God is a schizo. And by "discussed this at length" I mean, of course, "talked about it for a few minutes because it was funny".

Think about it. If you've actually bothered to read the bible, you'll know that it contradicts itself in many many places (well over 105, which is a Very High Number). And if, as the theory goes, God is the one saying all this stuff to people to write it down, then he's either senile or schizo.

Face it kids, there were no apostles. It was all God, just a different voice inside his crazy, gigantic brain each time. Of course, if you want to refute this theory, you must face the consequences. Because, by refuting this theory, you will be conceding that God did not actually tell people what to write in the bible. Because God is perfect, and being such, would NEVER EVER contradict himself in any way, shape, or form. And if that's true, and it is also true that the bible cantradicts itself (which it is), then the bible must have been written by man. And that, my friends, would make your religion wrong and imperfect.

So I think it'd be better to just come to terms with the fact that you're basing your entire way of living on the whims of a schizophrenic diety (who may, in fact, have a poo fetish).

Penguins. Penguins are cute, adorable (especially the gay ones, for unknown reasons) and generally loveable. But there's something we didn't know, could never have guessed.

Penguins... are also nuns.

Some of you are laughing right now. And you are the ones we are too late to save.

See, the penguins devised an ingenious plan. They saw that religion was taking over the world. And, being the maniacs that they are (adorable maniacs, mind you), they decided to get on that divinely inspired gravy train.

So through recent 'research', we have uncovered their diabolical and yet amusing plan to take over the world by way of becoming nuns, and therefore infiltrating Catholicism (with many other religious institutions to follow, I'm sure). And, in fact, we found out just yesterday that Jim The Intern is really a penguin.

We decided to keep him on, however, because he's just so damn adorable. Plus, we can still make him do all the stuff we don't want to do. He is still technically an intern, after all.

Anyway. I digress.

The point is, the penguins are trying to become rulers of the world. They'll probably be tyrannical, so that's not good. But on the upside, they'll actually DO something about global warming. So I say we wait until all that save the earth crap is implemented, and then we have the uprising.

Just putting it out there.

Yes, what the header said.

<---- Hey look! A pretty picture!